TOOTHLESS NANNA

Conversation between Nanna(my 68 years old mom) and Me (Letty), and Raina (my 12 years old Daughter)

My mom : "Letty, I think I might be pregnant"
Me     : "why would you?? you are sixty.. (I tried to just go with the conversation as I knew that my mother already got her menopause few years back and her senile problem are getting worse )
 (monologue, I should start spend more time with her)
My mom : "I didn't have my period for almost two month"
Me     : "So we are going to have addition in family then"
My mom : "but Letty...."
Me     : "what mom???"
My mom : "I don't remember the father of this unborn child"
Me     : "WHAT!!!!!!" ( I pretending to be shocked)
My mom : "yes Letty, I have been sneaking out behind your back and sleeping with some dudes lately"
Me     :  "WHAT!!!!!!! (in serious mode)How old was this so called dude? I thought you were going to friendly visit so I don't mind at all,HOW COULD YOU!!!!"
My mom : Same age like me I guess
Me     : oh wow, That not a dude mom, that mmm.. called veteran..mmm.. old man..
My mom : But it is more cool to called them dude..
Me     : ewwww.... (I almost vomit myself)

This conversation starting to became more awkward.

Me     : "So,when was it, I mean when was your first meet with this man" (I tried to support her as she is feeling lost and lonely after my father passed away five years ago and left her with miserably heartbroken which taking few years of recovering and seeing her smile again)
My mom : "Do you mean them?"
Me     : "WHAT!!!!" (I almost have a heart attacked.) How Many of THEM!!!!
My mom : "I cant remember"
Me     : "OMG!!!!! Really!!! when was the last time and who was it??"
My mom : "mmm...Just got back and I forgot to ask his name"
Me     : "WHAT!!!!!!Seriously!!! mom you almost gave me heart attacked.Then how did you do that???" ( I tried to calmed myself)
My mom : "Do you even know thing called "Facebook"it got an application called "People Roulette"?"
Me     : "OH my God, you are the one who used all the internet capacity and made me yelled to your grandchild... I never suspected you.."
My mom : "Yes and You know what they said Im good at my Job."
Me     : "and why is that? That is not a Job you old wretch"( feeling sorry for cursing her)
My mom : "because I'm toothless, It less pain then"
Me     : "ewww... I don't believe you mom... how could you!!!!! You are grounded.."
My mom : "But I need to go to the doctor to check up about my pregnancy.."
Me     : "Mom!!!You know what, you are not pregnant and you cant!!!! you already have your menopause and you are grounded!!!! and I am ashamed... fullstops."
My mom : "Thank god"
Me     : "What did you say??"
My mom : "Thank GOD because all of their seed are inside of me and I cant be pregnant."
Me     : "WHAT!!!!!!!!!"

I started to feel dizzy and somehow fainted and fell on the floor... 
Hours later I am awake and realize ended up in couches.
Raina : "mom,mom,mom, are you awake??"
Me     : "Oh my God, what was I dream about.. Raina, where is your grandmother??"
Raina  : "She is upstairs, her friend came visit and she told me that they will talk inside her room as you were lying on the couch"
Me     : "Did I just passed out earlier??"
Raina  : "yeah, after you have this kind of light conversation then suddenly changed to serious talk.. then you start yelling and a minute after that I saw you on the floor. "
Me     : "seriously? I thought that was a dream. Your nanna must be in hard position lifting me up to   the couch."
Raina  : "No mom, I did, nanna had to attend the door as the bell started to jingle. So she asked me to just dragged you If I cant carry you. So I did."
Me     : "no, you did not, Seriously? what on earth was you nanna thinking??? I'd better check your nanna out."

I started to walk upstairs and knock my mom door.

Me     : "Mom, why are you lock up your door????"
My mom : "on momomt deer,"(one moment dear)
Me     : "I cant hear you clear mom.."

My mom open her door

My mom : "waft to ou wan?"(What do you want)
Me     : "Mom, I cant hear you clearly.. Why don't you wearing your false teeth?" (suddenly I remembered the earlier conversation)
My Mom : "I cun fin ith..asss I werh in hurri"(I couldn't find it, as I was in hurry)
Me     : "Thats it you old wretch, no more sorry for cursing you, hey, you old man, get out from my house or I will set your bird free forever and you mom, your wish of asking to be sent to old folks are rejected. now I knew something is up. And no more internet. I will cut the line off, and remember, you are grounded.you understand!!!!"
Old man: "ergghhh... Im sorry... here my princess your false teeth..."
Me     : "ewwwwww... dont call my mom princess... What era are you guys from?? what got into both of you?"

After wore her false teeth back.

My mom : "You can mad at me, but dont you dare to yelled at my prince."
Me     : (feeling disgust) "now you talking. you are grounded forever.. you have to report yourself every hour starting from now.. Do I make myself clear?? I cant stand with this bull shit anymore... You old man.. I said get out!!!!!"
My Mom : "but Letty, can you at least give me an hour to say goodbye. at least this is my last hour of having this kind of interaction"
Me     : "NOOOOO!!!! Don't you even think about that."


The conversation ended up by me chased the old man out till the front door and my mom do what she best at, being the drama queen, fake tear...I don't bought it.. till then, I still cant forgot about that day for the rest of my life and cant stop laugh when think about it.. 

the end

*too many grammar error, amalakake!!!!, This is just a joke, no offence




by benbronsonblasius

Go green on sunny day

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